By: Donna Martin
I had been the mother of the groom twice, and both times were wonderful experiences. As the mother of the groom there was little pressure. My biggest decision was what to wear. I basically just got to show up and enjoy the wedding. Following the practice of one of my dear friends, I collected programs and invitations from weddings that I attended so that I would have ideas to share with my daughter when it was time to be mother of the bride. I knew that it would probably take quite a bit of planning to put together a wedding. Mike had been saving for the event since the day Kacie was born.
We were so happy when Kacie became engaged. When it was time to plan the wedding she decided that she wanted a “destination wedding.” She wanted something small and intimate with only family members attending. “Are you sure this is what you want?” I asked. “Is this the wedding you have always dreamed about since you were a little girl?
She answered me with a very wise reply. “Mom, it is not about the wedding. I just want to be married to Austin. I want something intimate, meaningful and stress-free.”
So she and Austin had a wonderfull, romantic wedding in a tropical setting with 21 family members. It was beautiful, relaxing and such a sweet time with two families joining together to celebrate the love of their children.
There is nothing wrong with huge elaborate weddings. I love to attend them. But sometimes weddings become more about the wedding than the marriage. Sometimes couples are so caught up in the moment of the event that they repeat their vows as if they are optional suggestions and not life-long commitments.
I’m sure you have heard little children ask, “Do you promise?” Even a child knows that a promise is a promise – a vow is a vow – it is something that is not to be broken. If you make a promise to someone, that person is expecting you to follow through with your promise.
Whether couples use the traditional vows or they write their own vows, they are still promising and committing to love each other, no matter what, until the end of their lives.
Over the next few weeks we are going to be discussing the wedding vows and examining how each of those vows looks in real life.
The Martins currently present “Happy Together” marriages seminars for churches and organizations. To schedule a seminar call Michael at 940-735-1515. They also publish a weekly “Happy Together” Blog about family and marriage issues. You can order copies of their new books Dancing With Death and 366 Tidbits We Have Learned in 14,610 Days of Marriage, read, and subscribe to their “Happy Together” Blog by logging onto the Martin’s website at www.happytogethermarriage.com.