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« Sometimes Love is Uncomfortable | Did I Really Say That? (Part 4 in a Series of 4) »

Did I Really Say That? - One More Thing

By:  Donna Martin

The last but probably the most important vow that couples make at their wedding is the vow that seals the deal - for better or for worse for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.................................... for as long as we both shall live.  Couples do not promise to love each other as long as they both look good, act good, smell good, or feel good.  They do not promise to love each other as long as they are both happy.  They do not promise to love each other until someone else comes along who treats them better.  They do not promise to love each other as long as they are satisfied, live in a big house, drive a fancy car, or dress well.  They do not promise to love each other as long as everything goes smoothly.  No, they promise to love each other as long as they both shall live.

This vow is one of the secrets of a successful marriage.  Too many couples enter marriage with no sense of commitment.  They have the attitude that if things don’t work out they can always get a divorce.  How could anyone build a successful marriage if in the back of their mind there is even a question that their spouse is not committed to the marriage forever?  When couples have conflicts they are quick to say things like, “Maybe we should just get a divorce,” or “If you don’t like it, I can find someone who does” or “I knew this wouldn’t last.”  Even if the person does not mean what he/she says, that speck of doubt has been put into the other person’s mind.

People today are used to having things come easily.  They are accustomed to instant gratification.  But building a marriage is not easy.  It takes a lot of hard work on the part of both people involved.  Working together through difficult times may test your love to its limits.  But working together through conflicts is what helps couples grow stronger through the years.

When we married almost 42 years ago, we agreed never to use the word “divorce”.  Neither one of us doubted the other’s commitment to our marriage.  We have gone through many family crises together, but through each one I knew that Mike was there for me and he knew that I was there for him.  We were and still are committed until death do us part.

Perhaps you and your spouse have used those threatening words, or have not been as committed to your marriage as you should have been.  It is never too late to make a new commitment to each other to persevere no matter what.  You can never really reach the point of living “happily ever after” if you do not commit to the “ever after.”  Make that commitment today.  Ask God to help you.

The Martins currently present “Happy Together” marriages seminars for churches and organizations.  To schedule a seminar call Michael at 940-735-1515. They also publish a weekly “Happy Together” Blog about family and marriage issues.  You can order copies of their new books Dancing With Death and 366 Tidbits We Have Learned in 14,610 Days of Marriage, read, and subscribe to their “Happy Together” Blog by logging onto the Martin’s website at


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