Social Links
Subscribe to our Blog
Previous Marriage Blog Articles
« Who’s Right? | An Unsettling Experience »

Our Personal Mirror

By: Donna Martin

I would imagine that most people look into their mirror more than once each day.  Sometimes we may like what we see, but more often than not, we look into the mirror to find out if something about our appearance needs to be improved.  I’m sure you have heard the old saying, “Mirrors don’t lie.”  We can look into the mirror over and over again, but unless we change something, what we see in the mirror will be the same.  We can move the mirror to a different location, we can clean the mirror, we can even scream at the mirror, but the only way that our reflection will change is if we do something to change ourselves.

Here’s an interesting quote about marriage and mirrors:

“One of the best wedding gifts God gave you was a full-length mirror called your spouse.  Had there been a card attached, it would have said, ‘Here’s to helping you discover what you’re really like.’”

 – Gary and Betsy Ricucci

This is such a true statement.  Our spouse knows more about us than anyone in the world.  Our spouse knows our greatest strengthens and our darkest faults.  Thomas and Kathleen Hart, tell of a young woman who made this statement about what she discovered shortly after her wedding, “I always thought of myself as a patient and forgiving person.  Then I began to wonder if that was just because I had never before gotten close to anyone.  In marriage when my husband and I began dealing with differences, I saw how small and unforgiving I could be.  I discovered a hardness in me I had never experienced before.”

In his book Sacred Marriage, Gary Thomas says, “Much of our marital dissatisfaction stems from self-hatred.  We don’t like what we’ve done or become.  We’ve let selfish and sinful attitudes poison our thoughts and lead us in to shameful behaviors, and suddenly all we want it out.  The mature response, however, is not to leave a sinner (our spouse); it’s to change a sinner (ourselves). P. 95.

The next time you begin to feel dissatisfied with your marriage or your spouse, instead of trying to change your spouse, accept the fault that marriage has exposed in your own life.   Change your own habits, words, actions, reactions.  Take the “plank” out of your own eye.  Ask God to help you become a better spouse, and then love your spouse with the love that God extends to you.  Remember that only you can change the reflection of yourself that you see in the mirror.

The Martins currently present “Happy Together” Marriage Enrichment Events for churches and organizations.  To schedule an event call Michael at 940-735-1515. They are certified “Prepare/Enrich” Facilitators and are available to work with couples on an individual basis using the “Prepare/Enrich Assessment.”  They publish a weekly “Happy Together” Blog about family and marriage issues.  You can order copies of their new books Dancing With Death and 366 Tidbits We Have Learned in 14,610 Days of Marriage, read, and subscribe to their “Happy Together” Blog by logging onto the Martin’s website at

Click on the picture below to order your own copy of Sacred Marriage


EmailEmail Article to Friend

Reader Comments

There are no comments for this journal entry. To create a new comment, use the form below.

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.

My response is on my own website »
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>